the most presentable picture of 'me' I could find
My name's Kristian Reinertsen, born in the US of A in the fifteenth day of the second month of the first year of the 90s. A few months after that, my parents moved to Switzerland. Well, Dad moved and Mom tagged along after she'd got over all the giving birth to her baby boy thing.
That's more or less how my life started: growing up with weird American parents in an conservative country which frowns on all foreigners in a most liberal manner - outsiders are all disliked, regardless of race, creed and gender. Unlike most ex-pats, I went to Swiss school. I hated it and everyone hated me. So I became a degenerate PC gamer with no sense of social responsibility and all was horrible until I turned 17.
Shortly after failing the fourth year of high school, I decided academia wasn't for me and started an IT apprenticeship. Wow. Talk about life-changing event. Computers were cold and inhuman, didn't require me to adhere to social norms and, suddenly, I was good at something. Within a year I went from hopeless case to semi-functional human being.
being only semi-functional, I occasionally do things like felt-tip my hand
About the same time however my lifelong hobby of gaming became a drag. After spending eight hours a day in front of a computer at work, I really didn't want to waste more time in front of a flickering screen when I came home. Sports weren't an option. Neither was anything social - I'm still not much of a 'people person'. So I went back to another hobby I'd been dabbing in over the years since I'd first read The Golden Compass and decided I wanted to tell stories too.
Basically, that's how I got into writing. My first results, like most first attempts, reeked of suck and newbieism. But I'd learned from the apprenticeship that diligence and a self-critical mindset could teach me anything I wanted to learn. So, for three years, I hacked away at my keyboard whenever time permitted. Finally, in late 2011, I felt I'd got somewhere and started down the road which would lead me to the point I can claim I'm a published author.
Now, if you've been reading this attentively, you'll notice a trend: I only talked about IT, gaming and writing. There's a reason for that and it's simple. I don't actually do that much else. Sure, I work, go out, hang out, get hopelessly wasted and all the stuff people do but I treat reality as an unfortunate side-effect of being alive. Thus I don't really partake in it. At best, I watch and observe, meet a few cool people and go back to fantasy-land, where everything works according to my rules.
So, that's me in a nutshell. There isn't too much else to know.
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